If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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