just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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