they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize