Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
