Plan B is the new Plan A
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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