his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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