There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize