I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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