I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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