What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
