32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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