Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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