Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
