Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
