Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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