Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
