i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
