And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize