just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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