downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
