Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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