soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
