Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sober January is a disaster.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
