Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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