They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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