Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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