You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
