a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My vagina just clenched in fear
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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