My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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