3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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