Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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