sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
