just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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