Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
