I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize