It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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