Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
