Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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