Hey man sorry I got all grabby
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize