Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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