and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
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