so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
