Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
