ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
