and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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