this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize