it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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