Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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