If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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