why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
