I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
