So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize