This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
