It's like God shit irony all over that family
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
