Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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