guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How naked do you want me to be?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
