It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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