Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
