i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize