they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
smell my finger.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
