There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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