Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
